Watching, Silently Weeps

ON THE BEACH AT NIGHT
by: Walt Whitman (1819-1892)

N the beach at night,

Stands a child with her father,

Watching the east, the autumn sky.

 

Up through the darkness,

While ravening clouds, the burial clouds, in black masses spreading,

Lower sullen and fast athwart and down the sky,

Amid a transparent clear belt of ether yet left in the east,

Ascends large and calm the lord-star Jupiter,

And nigh at hand, only a very little above,

Swim the delicate sisters the Pleiades.

 

From the beach the child holding the hand of her father,

Those burial-clouds that lower victorious soon to devour all,

Watching, silently weeps.

 

Weep not, child,
Weep not, my darling,

With these kisses let me remove your tears,

The ravening clouds shall not long be victorious,

They shall not long possess the sky, they devour the stars only in apparition,

Jupiter shall emerge, be patient, watch again another night, the Pleiades shall emerge,

They are immortal, all those stars both silvery and golden shall shine out again,

The great stars and the little ones shall shine out again, they endure,

The vast immortal suns and the long-enduring pensive moons shall again shine.

 

Then dearest child mournest thou only for Jupiter?

Considerest thou alone the burial of the stars?

 

Something there is,

(With my lips soothing thee, adding I whisper,

I give thee the first suggestion, the problem and indirection,)

Something there is more immortal even than the stars,

(Many the burials, many the days and nights, passing away,)

Something that shall endure longer even than lustrous Jupiter

Longer than sun or any revolving satellite,

Or the radiant sisters the Pleiades.

I hold with those who favor fire

Robert Frost (1874-1963)

 “Fire And Ice”

Some say the world will end in fire, 

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

Butt if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To know that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

what the gov't calls education

So today was the day to register for College classes and the day all of the College staff came back to work after this lovely Christmas holiday.
 Everyone knows what this means...
~the gov't made tons of money
~the gov't made tons of money
                AND
~the gov't made tons of money

yep thats right..that gov't made tons of money ok and every college students wallets were emptied of every dollar and every account drained of every hard earned penny.

I am a typical 23 year old living in this poverty stricken world, waitressing my way through life and nursing school.  Borrowing the (very supportive and pretty amazing) boyfriends vehicle for transportation BUT living quite comfortably with no money and small amounts of debt. I guess I could say that I coupon to get by day to day.

I remember growing up listening to my parents discuss how much money they had to put out for each of us to go to school..we definitely did not go to private schools or do any expensive after school extra curricular's. For most of my elementary years my sister's and I were home-schooled..that is until my Mom became pregnant with my (amazing might i add) twin sisters and was unable to stand at the table and teach all day or take us on family outtings..aka field trips.

When it became time to go to public school the necessary money was forfeited for us to get a "good" and or "decent" education. NOT to put teachers down, I have a lot of respect for teachers and how hard they work! Between book bags, paper, pencils, random supplies and a couple hundred dollars in uniforms for each of us..my parents were flat broke!

Especially being an Army brat you never really know how long you will be at any specific school.  Counting being homeschooled I remember going to 3 elementary schools, 4 middle school and 3 high schools.  The numbers that I just posted do not reflect or represent in any way, shape, fashion or form all of the adjustments that had to be made in order to get accustomed to the new establishment.

Where did the time go?

I embrace the memories of growing up in a military family.  The constant moving always brought on new friends at church (until 4th grade I was home schooled or attended classes at our church) and in our neighborhood, a new house to make memories in and a new scenery.  I dont really remember any time that would stand out, as my so called "favorite" until around middle school, but I can never forget the friends and families that we became so close to and had to say goodbye to over and over. 

From the bayous to the rockies I will never forget!

Well this is my first blog post..

Autumn in Wilmington, NC is almost indescribable. I could say, just pick up one of Nicholas Sparks' books and His descriptions are dead on! All you need is a hammock, book and the beautiful aromas, even the sounds of sirens (I live near a hospital) and the occasional dogs barking aren't too bad. 

I plan to write about my journey on this roller coaster that I am currently in the front seat of. This is my story.

In the past 7 months I have packed up all of my belongings, left my job, amazing friends and moved almost 800 miles away from my family for the second time. Nothing I am uncomfortable with, I grew up an Army brat moving all over the beautiful United States of America. But this time was different, I was moving back to take a chance, test my faith and give my marriage another try. 

My husband was coming home from his 2nd tour over seas, this time Afghanistan, I had decided that I truly loved him enough to put the past behind us and trust this man of God that says he loves me with all of his heart and soul.  

For months I prayed and cried to God for direction, obedience, FAITH, understanding, the list goes on and on.  I needed clearance to understand what His plans were for me at that time. I have learned that a 3 week period is enough time to take one week to decide to decide, another week to figure out the decision i need to make and what info I need to make that decision and the final week is putting that decision in place. All words from my current Pastor Mike, PC3, Wilmington, NC. 

So I put my plan in place and went with it. I packed up and moved back to NC. There were so many prayers answered and "signs" if you will, that lead me back to Hampstead, NC and my marriage. I didn't find out till 3 months later that those answered prayers would lead me in a whole different direction than what I expected.